putting my life together
so have been shaken up a bit lately, a change in scenery. i have been busier, but somehow this week i got a hold of myself and stopped fucking around.
things are doing very well model wise – though if i could book another national commercial again it would be better hehe. it actually was slow in may, but now it’s starting to pick up (thank the lord). now it’s “fitting” season so i have been doing them a lot, though i need to get in shape for the summer fashion shows. maybe i should start exercising for once. i have a very fast metabolism so i can get away with eating anything my heart desires without gaining a pound, but it’s not healthy to not exercise. i need to get toned. i have cellulite in one leg haha. i hope my leg modeling agent does not read this haha.
it is also pilot season, but i don’t feel like being in one so i have rejected all offers.
it has gotten to the point of “if it does not pay, i don’t do it”. i also don’t go out to castings that do not pay at least a certain amount.
and no it’s not because i think i am worth more (though my daily shoot rate has gone up a lot higher since march). it’s just because i am trying to manage a million things all at once, so i really can’t afford to spend time and shoot for things that don’t pay well, or not at all…..
cause i am now very busy with zoe.
here’s a sneak peek of zoe’s website i am working on (re doing it), and trying to arrange a photo shoot for the fall collection… which we don’t even have the samples for, ugh.
it is hard when your future depends on how hard you work.
it’s just so stressful to realize that my jobs are not typical. i don’t have the as-long-as-i’m-in-the-office-M-F-and-work-i-get-a-paycheck type job.
i can’t “go” to my job. my shoots change everyday. they are unpredictable. i can’t sit and wait for them – i have got to hussle, push and get them. my schedule is always last minute and that sometimes drives me nuts.
i don’t have tasks given for zoe. i need to always figure out and find something that needs to get worked on, a solution – or else the company does not go forward. i can’t stop working on something and leave it for the next day – not when the company’s future can be improved by it being done NOW.
last year when we did the brochures, sales increased. i am hoping for another miracle here so the faster i get that done, the better.
my check for the mercedes-benz commercial is coming next week (yay!). so i will use part of it to get a new mac so i can finally edit my videos. the rest… goes hopefully to pay bills. and then when i get more residuals… ugh college loans. it all goes “poof!” quickly.
but i guess i love it? i somehow manage to always get my self in multi-tasking life situations. i think i secretly, unconsciously crave for it.
here are some of the kittens i am fostering. they are beautiful. i am working hard on finding good homes for them. i also have 5 other 3 week old kitties i am fostering, along with their mommy. i am a crazy cat lady. but i am so happy to have saved their lives :)
ugh and now i have let some of it out…. i go to bed :)
Language! Glad to see your doing so good Danella. You have an amazing life, and I wish I could be you.